Walter Cronkite has said that Willie Nelson is the Walt Whitman of his generation. I went to see Willie play at the Township in Columbia this past Wednesday night, and, as expected, it was phenomenal. I have seen Willie live five times now, and it just seems to get better. As usual, my friends Kyle and Brett were in attendance (they have been with me 3 of the 5 times now), and Brett’s girlfriend Jenny, who is now 2 for 5 with me. The first thing I should mention is this – Kyle gave me his extra ticket. He wouldn’t even let me buy him a beer as thanks. If Kyle was a woman, or if we lived in Canada, I would marry him. I would prefer the situation where Kyle is a woman, though, because I don’t understand the metric system, and I don’t like dudes in “that way.”

Now that I’ve gotten almost as far off topic as possible, back to Willie. As usual, he opened with Whiskey River. Willie then played every song we wanted to hear, with the exception of Red Headed Stranger. He even did several Hank Williams songs, and a few traditional gospel numbers, which was really cool. I tried to write down a set list the next day, but then I got distracted and never finished it. I have no idea how Willie does it. He has more talent, energy, and charisma in one of his braids than I do in my entire body, and I’m less than half of his age. I think it has something to do with the bandanna, the braids, and Trigger (his guitar). This is merely speculation on my part, but I think they form some sort of Trinity of Cool.

My biggest complaint about this show was the lack of crowd participation. Other than Captain McDrunky two sections to our left (who was boogying down like the very fate of the galaxy depended on his busting a move), no one wanted to stand up, much less sing along. In fact, the two ladies beside me didn’t smile, move, or blink during the show. It was as if someone was forcing them to be there against their will. I also don’t think they approved of my beer (Kyle must not have, either, because he kicked it over…bastard. Actually, he felt so bad about it, he insisted that I drink half of his beer…seriously, ladies, this kid’s a catch!). In my opinion, if you’re not going to get into the show, and especially if you’re going to yell at anyone who is, stay at home, listen to a CD, and stare at a Willie Nelson poster.

I would like to thank Brett for driving, Ben Tanner for being there (BEN TANNER!!!), and Jenny for playing footsie with me at Stuffy’s before the show (it was hot). Kyle – I wish I could quit you.

Incidentally, I just received word from the Pentagon that, due to his valor and bravery in the face of danger, Captain McDrunky was promoted to Brigadier General at the end of the night. You people have no idea how close our galaxy came to being obliterated, if not for the shaking of his funky ass. Get down with your bad self, my friend, and God bless.