Friday, November 28, 2008



Here is a post I've been meaning to write for quite some time. As I'm sure most of you know, I'm a huge beer geek. Literally. I'm seven feet, six inches tall and weigh 436 pounds. Okay, I made that up. I just really love beer. All kinds of beer. Dark beers, light beers, hoppy beers, malty beers, high-gravity beers, session beers, micro brews, macro brews. You get the picture. There is only one style of beer I currently am not a fan of: Belgian-style beers. I just don't like the coriander and orange peel flavors. Not that they are bad beers, just not suited to my palate.

I spend a large portion of my evening at home surfing Rate Beer (which is currently down and has been for a while) and Beer Advocate. When I'm not there, I like to go to such beer review blogs as The Grain Bill, run by my friend Dr. Joel, and A Beer Sort of Blog, which I find interesting because it is written by a female, which is unusual in beer blogs. Also, she's a great writer with great taste in beer.

I'm sure a lot of you are saying to yourselves "But JT, we want to know what you think about beer! We love, trust and respect you, and admire you for your rugged good looks and smooth, smooth charm!" I know, I know, and I can understand your point of view. I'm working on yet another side project for a friend of mine. He manages a great beer store and has asked me to write a beer/wine/spirits blog for him on a regular basis. More details as I have them.

Until then, peep my favorite breweries, yo.

In no particular order...

New Holland Brewing - especially Sundog, Dragon's Milk, Night Tripper, and Cabin Fever

Boulder Beer - Hazed and Infused is my favorite hot weather beer. Period. Mojo is also awesome.

Founders Brewing - the Breakfast Stout is the most amazing stout I have ever had. Ever. Of course, I have yet to get my grubby little mitts on any of their Kentucky Breakfast Stout. Red's Rye is also awesome.

Smuttynose Brewing - Their IPA is my current favorite IPA, and Old Brown Dog is an incredible American Brown Ale.

Stoudt's Brewing - Love the Fat Dog, Pils, and Scarlet Lady ESB. I plan to visit them the next time I'm in Pennsylvania.

Bear Republic Brewing - Hop Rod Rye is amazing, and the Red Rocket Ale is my favorite red ale. Pete's Tribute is another amazing American Brown Ale.

Orange Blossom Pilsner - Nice, smooth hot weather beer. Also, Tom, the owner, is a great guy.

That's all for now. Sound off in the comments section and let me know of any great beers I need to try.

JT out.

Thursday, November 27, 2008



Massive, massive cheap beer hangover. Today doth suck.

JT ouchth.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

Yes, boys and girls, it's that time. The time when Kyle and I (and usually Burt, but he's out of town) sit down for our annual Thanksgiving Eve tradition: watching Shaft and getting obnoxiously drunk. Kyle and Burt are the originators of this tradition, I've only taken part for the last three years. I asked last week how it came about, and neither really remembers, kind of like how no one can remember why they're Yankees fans.

Tonight will be a thing of beauty: the lights low, the drink flowing, John Shaft (Richard Roundtree, of course) popping caps in ass after ass after ass. Truly, it is the most wonderful time of the year.

Tomorrow morning is going to suck.

JT out.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Two things:

1. The older I get, the more severe my reaction to MSG gets. Two years ago, I could eat food from any Chinese place and be fine. Starting last winter, I noticed that every time I ate Chinese food, I would start to have a very rapid heartbeat and drymouth about an hour later. After doing some research online (between watching midget porn and cyber-stalking Matt Dillon,) I discovered that I was reacting to the MSG. Why I suddenly started reacting to it is a mystery, but I'll chalk it up to the same reason my beard is better described as salt and pepper in color: I'm devastatingly handsome. I usually try to ask for MSG-free dishes, but I forgot to today when Melissa bought me lunch (also because I'm devastatingly handsome.) Now I feel like I've consumed eleventy-billion cups of gas station coffee and eaten twelve pounds of cotton balls.

2. Saturday Night Live is definitely on an upswing. I've been noticing it over the past two years. The young cast they have is incredibly funny (except you, Kenan Thompson...but you're improving.) The following video clip proves it. Sorry the audio is slightly out of sync, but it was the best clip I could find (edit: I found the official clip from NBC...much better. Thanks, NBC.)

I hope everyone enjoys their weeks, it's going to be balls-out for me since it's both a short week and the end of the month. On second thought, it's going to be balls-in because it's really cold right now. Let's just say "busy."

JT out.

Thursday, November 20, 2008



Just checking my Google Analytics page, and I noticed that someone found this site by searching for "milwaukee pickles midget polish."

I have no idea.

JT out.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


This is Why I'm Hot...

As I mentioned last week, I've been suffering severe writer's block. My day job keeps me going for fifty plus hours a week (not that I'm bitching...I love my job, and am one of the lucky few who can claim that,) but it's a busy life, especially during the holiday season.

Since this post is primarily pictures, I'm not sure I can claim that it cured any sort of writer's block or writer's chlamydia, but it's something, damn it, and none of you sons of bitches are paying for it, so deal with it. I spent a long weekend reconnecting with some of my old college crew and drinking in excess, and it cleared the brain...or it killed some brain cells. Either way, I feel better.

B-Jammin, Kev, Ice, Tex, and JT...drinking.

These are some of my core group of guys from my college years. We try to get together once or twice a year for reunions, but it doesn't always work out. We were together this year for Kev's 30th birthday.

Ice, JT, B-Jammin, Kev and Tex

Ice and JT..don't fuck with us.

It was an epic weekend, filled with boozing, hot-tubbing, boozing, dares, and more boozing. More on the dares later when I have the pictures sent to me. I needed this weekend to clear my head. I know it may seem odd that I cleared my head by clouding my head with booze, but that's why I'm hot, and maybe why you're not.

JT out.

*also, I promise that I will post my Halloween party pictures soon, Noah.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Promises of Updates

I have a ton of stuff to update, such as Halloween party pictures and stories, pictures from my mini vacation to Penssylvania this past weekend, and moany other fun and exciting things, but I've been on the road for days and just got home from a wine tasting.

Updates tomorrow, I promise.

JT out.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Weekend Assignment:

I want everyone to use the word "hooligan" at some point over the weekend.

Let me know how it goes.

JT out.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


November Fizzle

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. I've been insanely busy at work, which is a great thing for a sales rep. It just leaves me worn out at the end of the day. I'm going out of town for the weekend, so expect wacky stories and a re-energized JT.

JT out.

Thursday, November 06, 2008


Dear American Media,

Now that the election is over, can I please, please, please have my regular programming back? Can we talk about something else? Don't get me wrong, I realize that this election was very important, as are all elections. I would hate to see where we would be without the Democratic process. I'm just really fucking sick of hearing about nothing but Obama vs. Hilary, pitbulls wearing lipstick, and other kind of creepy, kind of arousing situations.

And NPR? You know I still love you, right? It's just that for the better part of the last four months, I've heard the exact same opinion pieces and interviews over and over and over and over, just in different accents. Between that and the fact that I listened to a fundraising pitch for a solid ten minutes one morning last month, I actually switched to John Boy and Billy. I heard more fart jokes, NASCAR jokes, and boob jokes in twenty minutes than some men hear in a lifetime, but it beat the hell out of finding out that if I donate more than $120, I get a keychain, bumpersticker, and am doomed to eternity on your mailing and calling list for future fundraisers. On the plus side, I can be a pretentious asshole who constantly reminds you that I am a step above the rest of humanity because I listen to NPR instead of the crapfest that is pop music right now. Does anyone remember real music? Also, you damn kids get off of my lawn! I'm keeping this ball if it lands on my porch one more time!

That's all I have for now...

JT out.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Less of this...

...more of this...

JT out.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


You're My Boy, Blu...the Revenge.

Longtime Spork Nation reader BluStaCon and I have a bit of a rivalry. I'm a Clemson fan and he's a Boston College fan. Last year, we made a gentleman's wager. If Clemson won (they did not) then he had to send me a picture of him in orange. If Boston College won (they did) I had to post a picture on Spork Nation wearing Boston College colors.

I'm just thankful for two things:

1. A year later, the situation is reversed. I would like to thank Clemson University for firing Tommy Bowden.

2. Blu is a man of his word...which I never doubted.

I would also like to note that he did a much better job with his picture than I did with mine. Rest assured, Blu, if you ever beat us again in our 100% Bowden-free days, I will take it up a notch or two myself.

Once again, I want to thank Blu for being such a loyal reader and man of his word.

JT out.

Monday, November 03, 2008


November Blitz

Well, my wireless keyboard is still on the fritz (what the hell does that saying even mean, anyway?) but I found a wired keyboard sitting around that I'm temporarily using until Logitech gets back to me.

I'm going to get back into regular postings this month. I'm not going to do NaNoMoPriBiAckDer or whatever the thing is where blog authors commit to write a post every day. I can't for two reasons: 1. I have to concentrate on my real job. Until this blog starts paying the bills, it is far from my top priority. 2. I just don't have enough to say to post everyday. I could do it, but well over half of the material would make me cringe and quite possibly prevent some of the nine readers I have from ever coming back.

I'm floating around some new ideas to try out on here. For one, I'm going to start devoting more time to one of my passions: great beer. Expect links to beer review sites, my own personal opinions of beers, and maybe some sort of swag giveaway from all of the random beer stuff I have sitting around the house. Also, I'm in the process of trying to sell my house, and when I move to my new place, I will have more room and plan to start home-brewing.

I'm also going to be doing more cross-promotional stuff between here and my side-project, Cap'n Sloshy's Breakfast-O-Rama. If you think I've been slack about posting here, hasn't been updated since October 5th. Honestly, that blog can survive solely on the Capn's stories, but he likes my style of writing, so he relates the stories to me and I post them.

I should have some Halloween pictures up soon, stay tuned.

Also - don't forget to vote tomorrow!

JT out.


Technical Difficulties

No posting today. My wireless keyboard's spacebar is malfunctioning, either inserting five spaces or none atall,andIdon'thavethepatiencetotypelikethis.So,untiltechsupportgets backto me, enjoy your Monday.

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