Tuesday, April 29, 2008



...it's been a awhile since I did any regular posting on here. Sorry, kids. I'm really enjoying the free time I've gained by leaving my second job. I'll start posting again soon, but I thought it only fair to acknowledge where I've been.

I've become addicted to World of Warcraft. Severely addicted. I have 4 characters on 3 servers, and I log at least an hour or two of gametime per night. I promise to post a new video on Friday, probably the longest, most disturbing one yet. It will be epic. Almost as epic as my main warrior toon on WoW.

Sorry for being such a geek...

JT out.

Monday, April 21, 2008


JT Out.

It's done. Last night was my last night at the Village Idiot as an employee. It was a weird night. We were really, really slow until about 10:30, when all of a sudden we had a brief rush. It was over quickly enough, and then Bri and I lit up the cigars he had brought in for my final night. I can honestly say that I'm going to miss working there, and not just for the discounts. I may go back in a few weeks, but I'm doubting I will. My day job just has me too busy, which is a good problem to have as a salesman in a start-up company.

Does this mean the end of The Idiot Speaks? Probably not, it just means I'll have a chance to sit up at the bar as a customer, overhear more drunken conversations, and probably contribute to a few as well.

JT out.

Monday, April 14, 2008


The Idiot has Spoken

Well, it's official. Next Sunday is my last shift at the Village Idiot for a while. I'm planning on taking a few weeks off to concentrate on my day job and a few side projects I have going, and then I'll revisit the thought of working at the Village Idiot.

It will be kind of weird not being there all the time. At one point last summer, I was working six out of seven days there, and a lot of my co-workers have become good friends. Some of them have become such good friends that I loan them money (Cap'n, if you don't get me that $45 by week's end, I'm breaking your kneecaps.) I spend entirely too much of my free time playing World of Warcraft with Drew. Brian and Kelly, the owners, have been really great to me. When I needed more hours, I got as many as I could handle. When I got stuck in a meeting with my day job and had to show up late or not at all, they understood. When I cut my hours back to two days a week, they understood. When I was horribly injured in a tragic fryer/grill accident, they rebuilt me, using the most modern technology available, into the beer-drinking sex-machine that I am now.

In short, I think I'm going to miss being there. However, I know I'm going to enjoy having some time to myself. I'm going to update my customer files for my day job, finally get started on the Idiot's website, start up my merch store with Avril, and maybe actually find the time to have a beer with my roommate or cook dinner for Melissa.

Will I go back? We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

JT out.

Friday, April 11, 2008


...and the winner is...

Avril, with the following recipe:

Chickpeas in Curried Coconut Broth

2 teaspoons canola or vegetable oil (I go with veggie, wth is a canola and how do they get oil from it?!)
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 (19 oz) cans chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 (14 1/2 oz) cans diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (14 oz) can coconut milk
1 tablespoon curry powder
2 tablespoons chopped pickled jalapeno pepper (I always use more than that...)
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
6 cups hot cooked basmati rice, cooked without salt or fat (jasmine is good, too)

Heat oil in a large nonstick (or otherwise - I don't own nonstick 'cause they can't go in the dishwasher) skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; saute 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Place onion mixture, chickpeas, tomatoes, coconut milk, curry powder, jalapeno pepper, and salt in a 3 1/2 quart (or bigger) electric slow-cooker; stir well. Cover with lid; cook on low-heat setting 6 to 8 hours. Stir in cilantro. Serve over rice.

However, due to the extensive cook time, I was unable to prepare it yesterday, so I have no review yet. I do promise to try it in the very near future, perhaps Avril can join us for dinner that night.

In the meantime, head over and read a very well-written post about the plight of the homeless. It's a little bit heavier content than usual for my Friday posts, back to normal...er, what passes for normal around here, next week. Enjoy the weekend, kids.

JT out.

Monday, April 07, 2008


The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown Down...

Here goes nothing: in an effort to start eating more healthily, I'm trying to cut back red meat significantly. However, since Melissa doesn't like pork, and we eat together often, that eliminates that particular white meat. I'm kind of sick of chicken now, and I don't like that much fish. What's left? Sadly enough, vegetables.

Now well all know that I'm a hardcore carnivore (which would be an awesome rock band name,) but I have to face the fact that I'm not far from 30, I work in a fairly unhealthy industry, and I don't get enough exercise. I'm definitely not cutting meat out altogether, but I'm looking for some alternative recipes. I know that at least 3 of my readers are vegetarians, and probably have friends that are also, so here's the challenge:

Post your best vegetarian recipe in the comments section. I will pick the one that sounds the most appealing, and cook it Thursday. I'll post the results on Friday.

Sorry I've been slack on The Idiot Speaks. I'm kind of burned out from working two jobs for over a year, and nothing about that place amuses me currently. Things that would have been amusing a few months back now just piss me off. I'm not planning on quitting the Village Idiot, but I am thinking of taking a few weeks off to relax.

Anyway, post your recipes, and let the games begin!


JT out.

Friday, April 04, 2008


'Cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.

That's right, boys and girls...it's Friday, I have the entire weekend off from both jobby-jobs, and I'm going camping. No TV, not internet, and most importantly...no damn cell phone. That damn thing will be turned off upon arrival at the camp site, and will only be turned on sporadically to check messages and make sure nothing tragic has happened. Other than that, it will not be back on until Sunday afternoon.

This is a break from the rat race that I desperately need. Two days out of this week I worked the day job, changed clothes in my car, and walked into the night job. That translates to roughly a 15 hour day. Plus all of the "after hours" beer, wine and liquor tastings I do for my day job...I've already put in around sixty hours this week, and I still have to work tomorrow before I leave town. This is why Spork Nation has been suffering so much lately. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. Melissa and I barely see each other, and I'm more familiar with my steering wheel than my pillow.

This weekend will recharge my batteries (and by that, I mean that I will suffer from a two to three day hangover.) As usual, excessive amounts of booze and fireworks will be involved. I can't wait. Next week promises to be fulfilling: one of my very close friends is coming into town from Atlanta to film my next stunt with me, I have a few birthday parties to go to, and I will finally sit down and devote some time to two side projects I've been working on: the Village Idiot website redesign, and an online store. The store will have some Spork Nation merchandise, but that will not be the primary focus. More details will follow when I'm closer to completion. Another reason I'm looking forward to working on this store is that one of my oldest (not in age, in terms of how long I've known them) friends and I are working on it together (pssst! That's you, Avril!) It should be fun. You should buy things from me and make me wealthy beyond my wildest dreams so that I may finally wield enough power to prevent Joan or Melissa Collins from ever appearing on our televisions again. Ever. Also Jim Carrey.

Now for the Friday funsies.

First up, a video I stole from Compton.

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain's rendition of the Shaft theme.

But, to stay...uhhh.original...here's the same orchestra covering one of my absolute favorite songs of all time. Who can argue with Lou Reed?

Second, a long awaited new stunt...may I present The Mayonnaise Incindent
And, yes, that is a baby in the background...we're classy.

Have a great weekend, kids!

JT out.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Ugh. Blech. Snargle.

Yuck. Due to the weather in SC being on a mission of sorts to make me miserable (wearing t-shirts one day and sweaters the next) I am sick. My head is filled with goo, my throat hurts, and I feel as if I've been beaten half to death.

That, combined with work kicking my ass, means I don't feel creative or funny. I feel tired and frustrated. My hair, however, thinks it is in some sort of Vaudeville-esque barbershop quartet. May I present the funniest thing about me lately:

Back to work, then on to bed...

Have a great week.

JT out.

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