I hate daylight savings time. Actually, to be more accurate, I prefer it to standard time, I just hate the transition. Sure, maybe I could make it easier by remembering to set all of my clocks at the same time, but that would make sense. I prefer to set the clocks one at a time as it occurs to me, usually when I just happen to be standing near them. That way, instead of spending eight minutes setting my two watches and the three clocks that I own that don’t set themselves automatically, I can drive myself insane for the better part of two weeks by not being sure which clock is correct. Add to that the fact that half of the time when I get home from work all of the clocks are flashing anyway because my power company has the reliability of a drunken amnesiac, and you have pure, unadulterated bedlam.

Honestly, if my cell phone and cable box didn’t update the time automatically, I would have forgotten about the time shift entirely (although “time shift” sounds more like a sci-fi term. To the Delorean!). As it was, I still forgot to change my alarm clock, but due to the aforementioned reliability of my power company, I always have a backup alarm set on my cell phone anyway. I doubt I need to tell you how much I enjoy paying my power bill each month (it’s almost as much as I enjoy poking myself in the eye with a red hot fork). To be honest, I don’t enjoy paying any of my bills, but I don’t really resent paying for services rendered properly. Some people would refuse to pay the bill until problems were fixed, but then my power would be cut off and my beer would get warm. Wow, did I get off topic. Did I mention that not setting my clocks correctly sometimes results in me losing sleep due to staying up too late by accident? That makes me smarter.

Just to add to the confusion, I’m going to spend the first week of daylight savings time on the west coast this year, meaning my time will be completely off kilter for an additional week, assuming that I have any clue what time my flights actually leave.