Thursday, August 10, 2006



Just in case anyone is wondering, I am alive. I was not devoured by a gang of Peruvian llamas after drunkenly climbing into their habitat to harvest their wool for a new sweater. Also, I have no idea if llamas are indigenous to Peru. So feel free to call me out on that one. I didn’t feel like doing the research.

No, Brew at the Zoo was rained out. Well, in truth, they held it anyway, but it was being held indoors because of the rain. I didn’t see much point in paying $30 to drink beer inside, away from the wild animals when I could spend less money and drink inside elsewhere in Columbia in close proximity to my friends and comrades, who are about as close to wild animals as you can get without the mauling. Unless they’ve been drinking cheap whiskey, in which case the mauling is included.

The most interesting story of the weekend was running into my friend Neil, who has recently come back from a summer in China, teaching English as a second language. Neil, to be polite about it, was not feeling any pain by the time I saw him. Neil, somehow, has more luck with females than most people I know. Every time I turned around, he was pushing some random girl towards me, and introducing me as “Shawn” for reasons known only to Neil.

Since I wasn’t looking to meet anyone that night, I would carry on polite conversation for a few minutes and then excuse myself to get another beer, never to return. This resulted in mass confusion when, leaving the bar at closing time, trying to decide where to go now, I kept hearing one drunken voice yelling “Shawn!” over and over again. It took me a minute or two to realize that I, in fact, was “Shawn.” At which point, another of my friends informed the poor girl that my name was Josh, which pissed her off because I had been lying to her all night. Which I really hadn’t. Other than my name, everything else I had told her was true. I didn’t see much point in correcting the matter, since she was
  • from out of town
  • leaving in the morning
  • way too young
    Still, I kind of felt like an ass since I normally try to be a nice guy. Plus, she was kind of hot.

    Also, Neil had brought back Chinese cigarettes, which he insisted I smoke with him, even though I quit smoking about 6 years ago. They tasted just like cigarettes, which was disappointing. I expected maybe some duck sauce or something.

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