Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Shiny Happy People

Well, this probably won’t come as much of a surprise to anyone, but I wisely chose not to wear sunscreen when I was out on the lake on Sunday afternoon. I know, it’s shocking, since I’m usually preaching about skin protection in the sun and the dangers of ultraviolet radiation, but I was feeling frisky. I actually didn’t get all that burned, just a bit red, which leads me to this conclusion: the sunscreen industry is nothing a giant hoax, like those get-rich-quick real estate schemes you always see on late night TV, or the metric system.

I did mention that I got a little bit red. No, this is not sunburn, it’s…it’s…not sunburn. My skin dried out a little bit and started peeling, so I did what any red-blooded American man would, and borrowed some of my sister’s moisturizer. However, I didn’t really pay attention to what bottle I was grabbing. I put the moisturizer on my face, finished getting dressed, and walked out the door to head to work.

I noticed after several minutes on the road that I seemed to have some sort of glitter on my hand. That seemed odd, but no worries, I would just wash it off when I got to the office. Then I noticed it was on both hands. All over both hands. Hmmm…puzzling. Wait…could that have come from the moisturizer I put on my face? If it did, well, that must mean that there was also glitter on my face. Sure enough, I looked in the rearview, and I was all glittery. It was really kind of adorable.

Well, rather than make this any worse than it already was, I turned around and went back home to wash my face. It turns out I actually grabbed some sort of shimmering body lotion. Appropriate for rave night at some warehouse in the seedy part of town? Yes. Appropriate for work? No. Well, not for my work anyway. Maybe some of my loyal readers (both of you) have a more interesting profession than I do. I’m just glad that my powers of observation kicked in when they did, or it could have been a very interesting day. However, I do kind of wish they would have kicked in earlier. That stuff is a bitch to wash off.

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