I’ve been meaning to write this for slightly over a week, or maybe longer. It’s late, and I can’t sleep, which means that everything is a tad fuzzy. Like a kitten. Damnit, I need sleep. Anyway, after writing about my newly acquired nickname of B.J. Tennessee Damnit, III, I started thinking about all of the nicknames I have.

I don’t know if this is unique to my group of friends or not, but we each have at least 3 names. It is currently confusing the girlfriend greatly, as it should. Who the hell would expect JM, The Jew, and Hebe to be all the same person? Well, they are…I mean, he is…hell, forming a sentence about it is difficult enough. What makes it more difficult is that we are scattered around the country and only see each other once or twice a year when we make a massive effort to meet up. (By “we,” I mean everyone else, because I live 2 hours away from our meeting spot, so it’s a short drive.) Despite the fact that she hasn’t met a lot of them, I still talk about them like she’s known them for years. Mainly because she has fit in so well with my friends so far I forget she hasn’t met them or been around us forever.

Well, since standard operating procedures for this blog state that I must ramble and lose track of my point at least once per post, I’m proud to say: Mission Accomplished. This started out as a post about nicknames and slowly meandered its way into me talking about the girlfriend again. The point is: it’s very difficult, when first being integrated (or assimilated) into our group (posse, crew, entourage, or other “hip” term here) it can be very difficult to tell exactly who we are talking about, or to. We may even have assigned you a nickname already and forgotten to tell you, which is why we’re all staring at you waiting for a response, Rico. Pay attention, Chachi!

Since I’ve run out of creativity and am finally starting to get drowsy (most likely as a result of a bottle of bourbon and some cough syrup) I will leave you with a list of the nicknames I have been assigned over the years. This is probably not a complete list, but it’s always expanding, and some nicknames have been retired, so it would be virtually impossible to remember them all. If I’ve left any out, feel free to let me know.

In no particular order…

JT
T
T-Bag
T-Money
J-Tizzle
Hoss (Thanks, Kyle!)
Mark
Caleb
El Dorado
BJ Tennessee Damnit, III
Coach

Here’s a fun contest (as well as a desperate plea for someone to leave a damn comment to see if anyone reads this thing anymore…) whoever can guess the origination of the most nicknames will get a prize of some sort, probably a beer when I see you next.