Sunday, December 31, 2006


State of Spork Nation Address, 2006

As of today, Spork Nation is officially one year old. You know what that means: pretty soon I’ll be walking and trying to put everything within reach into my mouth. It’s time to childproof your homes or, alternatively, if you’re used to me coming to visit you when I’ve been drinking, they’re probably already safe (Kyle – hide the apples).

I’m not entirely sure what to make of the past year, but overall it’s been mostly good. My divorce was finalized in June, I got a job that I truly enjoy and that pays me fairly well, I got a new car that I love, and I moved back to my hometown, which has brought me closer to family and friends I had lost touch with. On the down side, I miss the friends of mine from Greenville who I rarely get to see anymore, living close to the mountains, and Clemson, once again, broke my heart with our football season.

At the beginning of the season, there were whispers that we had the talent to be a dark horse candidate for the national championship, and we had an incredible season until our loss to Virginia Tech. After that, it was all downhill, our regular season ending in a loss to USC and finally culminating with a pathetic loss to Kentucky in the Music City Bowl. Thanks, Tommy*. But I’m not going to focus on it anymore. I still have Penn State and Ohio State to pull for, maybe one of them won’t let me down. It’s sad how much my relationship with Tommy Bowden is like that of an abusive couple. He keeps promising to be better and try harder, and I truly want to believe him, so I keep coming back, only to be punched in the kidneys and thrown down the steps to the basement.

Enough about football. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who takes the time to read the rants and raves of little ol’ me, and welcome to those who I’ve met over this vast interweb of violence, news, and pornography. 2006 is almost over, and Yahweh knows 2008 can’t get here soon enough, but for now it’s time to focus on 2007.

To all my readers, whether I know you personally or only digitally, have a great New Year’s Eve. May the booze flow freely, the fireworks explode loudly**, and may 2007 rawk.

Much Love,


*with an honorable mention to Jad Dean
**and also not blow off your thumb or any other part of your body.

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