You know you’re getting older when you choose to stay in on a Friday night because it’s raining pretty hard. Especially considering that you once went out to the bars during an ice storm. It’s true, kids. While I still have sparks of genius (read: staying out until 4:30 AM) from time to time, I’m definitely slowing down. Last night was spent drinking beer and reading at home instead of drinking beer and telling lies with my friends in a bar.

I also recently started growing my winter beard, and it’s showing a lot more grey than it did last year. It’s also itchy, because the weather here in South Carolina is insane. It’s been in the mid 70’s for the past week, and it’s January. It’s supposed to cool off this week (by which I mean high 50’s,) but I’m not sure I can stand the itching that long.

I know I’ve been slack on posting lately, but I’ve been busy getting high on horse tranquilizers and murdering hobos down by the railyard. That, my friends, is a full time job. So many hobos, so few places to hide the bodies. Lately, though, there seems to be a shortage of horse tranquilizers around these parts, and I just don’t have the same bloodlust when I’m sober as I do when I’m strung out.

In all actuality, I’ve just been suffering from writer’s block. My hard drive is filled with half-written, poorly-shaped posts (as opposed to my normal posts, which are fully-written and poorly-shaped). I’ve started ones about how much I love drinking with Australians, how much I love drinking with Brits, and how much I hate that fast food workers can’t seem to get the bread, cheese, and patty to all line up, one atop the other. I also intend to write one, replete with pictures, of my New Year’s Eve festivities (I wound up drunk and wearing a singlet with 3 guys I had just met.) Stay tuned and be patient with me. I’ll be back soon, but for now, Lil’ Ray Ray just showed up at my door with some more tranqs.