I was watching TV last night, and a commercial came on for the new NBC “reality” show based on picking out new cast members for an updated Grease. The tagline at the end of the commercial said something to the effect of “20 million viewers can’t be wrong.” I’m here to tell you: yes, yes they can. It seems to be a common misconception that, just because something is immensely popular, it is therefore of high quality.

Take, for instance, the Dave Matthews Band. They are wildly popular amongst high school and college kids, bridging the gap between frat boys and frat boys who like to pretend that they’re hippies. Also, chicks dig them. However, all of their songs sound exactly the same and last approximately 23 minutes. 23 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Just one example of popular not meaning quality. However, I realize that this is just my opinion, and some of you may love Dave Matthews Band (or DMB, as all the hipsters say.) This is fine, you are entitled to your opinion, even if it is borderline retarded.

Let’s move on to something we all (I hope) can agree on: Hitler Youth. At its height during World War II, the membership was 2.3 million. That doesn’t sound like a huge number, until you consider a few points. First, the world population was much smaller then. Second, Germany’s population is much smaller than that of the US. Third, only white kids that were Protestants were allowed to join. So, really, this was quite the popular organization. Another case of popularity not necessarily equaling quality. Hopefully, me mentioning Hitler Youth several times (Hitler Youth, Hitler Youth) will get me some google hits and attract some very interesting people to my page (Hitler Youth). Did I mention Hitler Youth? Seriously, while I’m not the world’s biggest fan of Jews (that title belongs to Larry Francis of Dearborn, Michigan,) I am the number one fan of Jews in my neighborhood, possibly within city limits. I mean them no ill will by mentioning Hitler Youth; I’m only trying to illustrate a point. To reiterate: Hitler Youth = Bad, Jewish people = Good.

There are many other examples I could use, such as the multitude of reality shows, one hit wonder pop stars, and Canada, but I think you’ve probably gotten my point by now: we should all burn Canada down. Wait, that wasn’t it at all. (also, our gentle neighbors to the north, I’m only kidding. I love Moosehead Lager, and by proxy, Canada herself.)

So please, no one burn down Canada, and remember: Larry Francis, I’m coming for you, baby. Wear that title belt while you still can.