Friday, May 25, 2007



I was going to write about some odd dreams I've had this past week. I always sleep fitfully at best when I'm staying in a hotel room, so that combined with the fact that I fell asleep watching Adult Swim almost every night probably had a lot to do with my dreams being bizarre. The main problem I'm having is piecing together what I remember of the dreams into something that makes sense, or at least a vague storyline. Otherwise I'll wind up sounding like William Faulkner, and no one wants that.

Instead of trying to make sense out of something so nonsensical (like understanding why people choose to speak French,) I will just describe the flashes of dreams I recall. If anyone wants to analyze them, feel free, but don't be too disturbed when you figure out how messed up my head is.

  • I was staying in a mountain cabin with my parents and extended family. My maternal grandmother, who I have never seen take a drink of alcohol in my life, proceeded to get smashed off of my Uncle Keith's homemade wine, and started chasing me around with a knife, throwing pies at me. I ran outside, and was suddenly at a truckstop, and hitched a ride with someone to get me the hell out of there.

  • Kyle, Melissa (the new/old was getting old typing that out all the damn time) and I were at a USC football game (USC is Clemson's biggest football rival.) Kyle and Melissa kept trying to get me to wear a USC shirt, and I didn't want to. It felt like betrayal, or being French. I threw the shirt down on the ground, and when Kyle picked it up, it was a USC football jersey. He handed it back to me, I once again refused to wear it, and threw it down again. When he picked it up for a second time, it was a wedding dress. Then an angry guy started chasing us for being in his seats, and the bleachers did that Scooby-Doo staircase thing where they collapsed and turned into a slide, dumping us out on the field. We crashed into the marching band, which made everyone angry, and we had to run for it.

  • Melissa and I were staying at my paternal grandmother's house, but parts of it were blocked off for some unknown reason. My ex-wife's brother and his wife came to live with us, and took up residence in the kitchen.

  • My dogs were gigantic (or I was tiny, not sure which) and I couldn't get them to understand that jumping on me hurt really bad.

  • That's about it, but here are a couple of pics of the dogs, I just realized I've never posted any.

    This is Mason. He weighs about 108 lbs, and is a big sweetheart and scaredy-cat.

    This ia Marley. She weighs about 35 pounds and is hyper as hell. If she doesn't like you, she will kill you.

    Coming up soon: pictures from our first house party, and updates on the new J-O-B. Have a great long weekend, kids.

    JT out.

    What you’ll need to do is have your girlfriend sign up for an account. Then once she has an account set up, she’ll need to go into the “My Account” tab (on the top of the screen, far left) and click on “Link a Student Loan Account” which is the last option on the left side of the screen. She’ll need to have a loan either financed by Sallie Mae or AES. She can link her loan to her account from there if it qualifies. Probably the easiest way to save for her then is to have her email you a request by clicking on the “invite family and friends” link on the middle left side and then accept the e-vite.

    If her loan is not a qualifying one, that’s okay. She can still save even if it doesn’t qualify. She would just need to request a check when she wants to take the money out. This is how Upromise explains it:

    Can I withdraw company contributions from my Upromise account without transferring them to a savings plan, and if so, how?

    You can withdraw your Upromise contributions at any time during your membership. To withdraw company contributions from your Upromise account, submit a letter in writing to Upromise requesting a withdrawal from your Upromise account. The letter must state your full name and exact amount that you would like to withdraw, up to total amount available in your account, pending contributions are not eligible for withdrawal.

    For the protection of our members, we require that your letter either be notarized or contain a Signature Guarantee if the withdrawal request is in excess of $200. A Signature Guarantee is a guarantee you can obtain from a financial institution, such as your bank, that your signature is yours and that it is genuine.
    Withdrawal letters should be sent to:

    ATTN: Customer Care
    P.O. Box 55555
    Boston, MA 02205-5555

    Checks are sent once per calendar quarter, so you should typically receive your check within 12 weeks of your request being received.

    So whether she has a qualifying loan or not, the best way to get your Upromise account linked to save for her is to have her send you an e-vite and then accept it. Then you can change your allocations once you’re linked to her.

    I hope that makes sense, it’s sort of confusing to explain.
    I finally fixed the link. I got tired of looking at you in your kitchen and not having any new blogs. And just for future reference: 'is' is spelled with an 's' not an 'a', as in "This is Marley." not "This ia Marley." Yeah I know. I'm an asshole. But I'm good looking!
    And you have a fantastic ass.
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