Monday, August 20, 2007


SC in the news...

I hesitate to keep posting odd South Carolina news, because it probably doesn't do much for our national image. Then I remember that Southerners don't give a damn what anyone else thinks anyway, so why the hell not?

This comes from WLTX, the local CBS affiliate here in Columbia.

SC Prisoner Sues Vick for $63 Quintillion

(Williamsburg County) - In a handwritten lawsuit, a South Carolina prisoner claims that federally indicted NFL star Michael Vick stole his dogs and sold them on eBay to buy missiles from Iran.

Vick is facing federal charges after authorities say he participated in and organized illegal dogfighting in Virginia.

The inmate, who is said to be Jonathan Lee Riches filed a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar suit" against Vick. The lawsuit claims that the controversial quarterback stole Riches' pit bulls and sold them online for Iranian missiles.

According to Fox News, the complaint also states that Vick pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February, and stated that as his reason to have the missiles.

Riches wrote in his lawsuit titled, "Theft and Abuse of My Animals," that "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes." Riches' lawsuit demands the $63,000,000,000 billion to be backed "by gold and silver. In the handwritten document, he asks that the payment is delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in Williamsburg County. The document says that Vick tried to use Riches' name to sell t-shirts, mugs and hats, and that he violated copywright laws against him. Riches is serving time after he was convicted of wire fraud.

So, what is the best part of the document? Easily the last statement written honestly and deftly by Riches: "DUE To Restrictions oN typewriters, this Suit Was Handwritten."

I couldn't make stuff like this up if I tried...sometimes the news is just more amusing than I am.

JT out.

This is eerily similar to the lawsuit I am filing against George Lucas for stealing my soul and selling it to the devil for Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman.

Padmé Amidala: Good morning Anikan.

Anikan: Good morning senator.

Padmé Amidala: I am a robot

Anikan: I am an angry robot

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?