Tuesday, August 14, 2007

 

Stop Stealing My Look, Jeebus!

Back in high school and early college, I had extremely long, straight brown hair. When I wore it down instead of in a ponytail, everyone remarked that I looked like Jesus. Wearing sandals all the time probably didn't help, either. Then, to add fuel to the fire, a friend of mine had me do several "Jesus poses" for an art project he was working on.



In 1999 I had a tragic hair cutting accident. Since my haircut was pretty straightforward, my friend Big Hook would come by the apartment and cut my hair in exchange for a few beers. It was simple: cut in a straight line. On one dark and stormy night, however, he had already been drinking (quite a bit, I suspect) when he came over and cut it too short. It was now not quite shoulder length, meaning that it was too short to pull back, but not long enough to keep it out of my face all the time. In short (no pun intended,) it was too annoying to keep that way, and I did not have the patience to wait for it to grow out again. I also realized that I would need to cut it shortly anyway in order to get a "real" job when I graduated from Clemson. I went in to an actual salon and had it all cut off the next day.

I thought the Jesus comparisons would stop, and they did...until a week or so ago. I got home one afternoon and found a religious tract shoved in between the door and the doorframe, inviting me to an event that the Jehovah's Witnesses were hosting that weekend. Follow The Christ!, it boldly proclaimed. Then, I saw the picture on the cover. Apparently, the hippie-looking Jesus is too liberal in this great nation these days, so the Jehovah's witnesses gave him a haircut.



Crap.

JT out.

Comments:
"Apparently, the hippie-looking Jesus is too liberal in this great nation these days, so the Jehovah's witnesses gave him a haircut."

Nah, it was done only for your sake, so you could still keep your 'Jesus' reputation.

Put it to the test. Grow a handlebar mustache. Then go out and fetch a tract from Jehovah's Witnesses. He'll have one too
 
Interestingly, the frescoes that commemorate the conquest of Jerusalem (AD 70) show the conquered men with short hair, so you probably look more like Jesus now than you did in high school and college.

And think of the alternatives. You could look like that Ben Tanner guy or something.
 
Tom - Consider it my weekend mission. Don't be a stranger around here!

Bubba - "You could look like that Ben Tanner guy or something."

You raise a very valid point.
 
You're pretty!
 
uncanny. you should bring that with you and try to get stuff for free. when they ask you "who do you think you are?" just bust out the tract.
 
btw, has ANYONE noticed the guy peeing in the background of the picture from the white trash party?!
 
wow, so its true! I've heard this for years and never believed it- I DO have a friend in jesus! Thanks JT!

-heimlich
 
I also have a friend in Jesus. This is hilarious, my good man.
 
Indeed. Just don't ask me to perform any miracles.
 
Best Post Ever
 
Thanks, Blu.
 
Dear Southern Jesus,


Please take my head cold away, let the Green Bay Packers win their first 6 regular season games and please send me up some moonshine with three X's on the bottle.


Amen.
 
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I don't even know what's funnier...your post, or that last comment.
 
I say we call it a push.
 
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