Friday, November 16, 2007


So What if I'm an Idiot...

It's that time again...time for the semi-regular posting of random things said at the Idiot. I've been spending most of my time in the kitchen lately, so it's mostly our smart-ass remarks and less drunken rambling than usual.

I'll start off with a little gem from yours truly...

While talking to one of our delivery drivers...
JT: Well, don't get to be 28, divorced, and cooking in the kitchen at the Village Idiot by making a series of good choices in life...

One of the tickets that came into the kitchen only had the name "Jesus" on it for a description.
Brian: Do you think we should charge him for this? I mean, he is related to the guy who created isn't it kind of his already?
Drew: Shit...could you imagine if he had to pay property taxes?

Harris: In case anyone is curious, the bottom of the oven is extremely hot. For example, I would not recommend putting your thumb on it.

Some random white trash asshole came over to the waitress' station, causing a scene...
Billy Ray: Hey! Why the hell can't we get a goddamn waitress at our table?
Meredith: I'll be right there, we're just very busy tonight.
(it's true...Wednesday is trivia night, and after 8:00, we're at capacity if not over. Normal people realize this means waiting more than 2 minutes before screaming at people.)
Billy Ray: I don't care! I have eight thousand dollars in my pocket, and you're telling me I have to wait???
Meredith is giving him a look that clearly shows she does not care, or believe him. In my opinion, if you actually do have eight thousand dollars in your pocket, in a bar, you're either in Vegas, a retard, or both.
Moses: Whoa...did you just say you have eight thousand dollars to spend?
Billy Ray: (looking smug) You heard me.
Moses: Go spend it elsewhere. Get the fuck out.
Moses is my hero.

We were also extremely busy last night. University of Virginia's women's basketball team was playing in town, and they called in a food order for delivery to the Colonial Center. However, it wasn't for x number of pizzas, or x amount of wings. It was twenty-seven distinctly different orders. It took close to three hours to prepare everything. We're not slow, it's just that our kitchen is not equipped to push an order that large out. Not only that, but a few of them blatantly ignored our menu, and ordered things we don't have. We had a good time with it.

For example, we have plenty of sandwiches to choose from, but we don't have options on bread. No wheat bread, no parmesan bread...just bread. We're not Subway. Also, we do not serve french fries or fruit salad. While we do serve pizzas with white sauce and pesto sauce as a base, we do not sell these by the slice. All of this is on our menu. It became a bit of a lottery to see what we could substitute that was remotely close.

Needless to say, in all the confuion, a few orders were screwed up in house. This was a hell of a build up for my final quote, but I felt it necessary for my pride...

After I burnt the third or so pizza in a row...
Moses:'s a good thing you're pretty.

Alright, kids, enjoy the weekend. I'm off to God's Country to watch my Tigers play Boston College. I've got a good feeling about this one.

Also, I'm trying to name this semi-regular feature. Make your suggestionsin the comments section.

JT out.

I love this feature. I can't think of a snappy title right now, but promise me this isn't the last installment.

I don't know who Moses is, but kicking that guy out was absolutely hilarious. If it takes me until I'm 100, I will get drunk at the Idiot some day.
Moses is the bar manager. He's awesome. I truly like everyone I work with there.

We'll all go to the Idiot when I have my Spork Nation Summit of Allies...I'm thinking Summer of '08, perhaps.
Alright, kids, enjoy the weekend. I'm off to God's Country to watch my Tigers play Boston College. I've got a good feeling about this one.

I do too.
Blu - I was waiting on that one. Let's make a gentleman's wager, shall we?

BC wins - I post a photo of myself wearing BC colors.

Clemson wins - you send me a photo of you in Orange.

At least it's not a cinnamon carbomb. damn! that was hard to watch.
boo ya
Damn. Now I have to find some clothes in Boston College colors...I'll have this soon.

On another note, the BC fans were great, easygoing people. Other than the actual game, I enjoyed their presence.
I hope you learned your lesson.

Never go up against a Sicilian* when death is on the line!

*not Sicilian
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