I know that my updates for the past month have been few and far between, and consisted primarily of The Idiot Speaks. I was making the transition from one job to the next, and the new job takes up a lot more of my time. Granted, it pays more and I enjoy it more, I just have less free time, especially when you take into account that I have a night job as well. I've been trying to juggle the schedules of both jobs, but in the end, the day job has to be my main focus, simply because that is where the bulk of my money comes from, and it's more along the lines of a career, whereas my job at the Village Idiot is simply that: a job. I love it, but let's be honest: I cannot live off of my Idiot wages. Well, I could, but then my life would suck.

Where am I going with this? Am I quitting the Village Idiot? Of course not. Then I would have to start paying for food and beer again. I'm merely cutting my hours down to 2 or 3 nights per week. As long as I can get a consistent schedule at night, I can plan my beer and wine tasting events for my day job around it. Now, on to the new job.

It rocks balls. Seriously. I thought I was happy at my last job selling wine, and I was. I just had no idea how much happier I could be selling wine and beer. Also, our liquor license should be finalized by the beginning of March, so soon I'll be a triple threat. It helps that I’m representing several of my favorite beers. I should probably also mention that I represent a malt liquor, which is surprisingly good. No, seriously, I'm not saying this as a salesman, I'm saying this as a beer guy. It's no Lion Stout or Yuengling, but it's not bad for what it is.

I think my parents wonder where they went wrong. I sell beer, wine and (soon) liquor by day, and work in a bar at night. Also, my little sister is a bartender. Why do their children’s’ lives revolve around alcohol? I’ll tell you why: because they are terrible parents. Just kidding, Mom! Haha! Dad, you and I need to talk, though. Zing! Kidding again, of course! In all honesty, it has a lot to do with the fact that I love beer, and I may have had some influence over my little sister at an early age. So, in a nutshell, old job = good, new job = better. I'm finally getting a more in-depth knowledge of my product portfolio, and we add new products weekly. It's exciting to me. I feel like I've gotten in on the ground floor of something that is going to be very big.

Now, on to other matters. Namely, the fact that I am officially a part of the Cap'n's entourage for City Finals here in Columbia for the Paper-Rock-Scissors tournament. If he wins this one, he goes to Vegas for a shot at Nationals and $100,000. This is why my job is so important: I'm the Head of Security. I keep him out of trouble and rough up anyone who gets too close to him. By that, I mean we drink together a lot...which is pretty much the opposite of keeping him out of trouble. I also judge any "non-sanctioned" matches that he is challenged to outside of the tournament. He was beaten Saturday afternoon, but I ruled it a disqualification since his competitor, E-Rock, was using performance-enhancing drugs (namely 180 energy drink,) whereas the Cap'n was stinking drunk.

We're thinking of renting a limo to take us to City Finals, and we're all going to be dressed to the nines. All the guys are wearing suits and dark glasses, and all of the girls are wearing somewhat revealing dresses. I'm also trying to round up some walkie-talkies so that we can really look like we have a security team in place.

If only I put as much effort into other aspects of my life as I do into being a jackass, I could be president one day.

All for now, kids.

JT out.