All right kids, I'm back. For real this time. I have a brand new system and it's time to rock and/or roll. First, some general housekeeping issues:

1. Kyle, my roommate, has been awesome about letting me use his computer. He didn't mind me using it to post until he found out that my creative method involved watching episodes of Father Knows Best while in the nude and covered in honey.

2. There will be no further installments of The Idiot Speaks. I no longer work there, and I find nothing about it funny. Well, not in the "ha-ha" funny kind of way.

3. I don't have a third item for this list, but in my mind, a numbered list needs to have at least three items.

I don't have a lot of time to post right now, since setting up a new computer for me involves hours of uninstalling all of the bundled crap that a new system comes with, such as trial versions of every program known to man, and reconfiguring the default settings so they don't piss me off. Side note: Vista blows. Hard. I'm tempted to wipe the hard drive and install XP on this machine.

As of now, I'm installing various updates and programs and sitting through 9431 restarts. Fortunately, our good friend Burt came over tonight and Kyle, Burt and I are watching the Democratic National Convention and have made it into a drinking game. Anytime anyone says the words "change," "experience," or "future," we have to take a drink. If anyone says "scrotum," we have to chug six beers in a row. I really thought Nancy Pelosi was going to say it at one point. Also, speaking of Nancy Pelosi, her opening speech sucked almost as bad as Vista does.

Anyway, I'm back to stay, and I've missed you all terribly. More soon.

JT out.