Monday, October 06, 2008


Looking for Cabinet Members...

I announced my bid for the President of The United States yesterday, with theCDP as my VP. He graciously accepted, and I think we have a killer ticket. I'm a gun-totin', beer-swillin' Son of the South, and he's an iPhone-toting, PBR-swilling Midwestern Hipster (his exact words.)

Between the two of us, we tie up a decent portion of the vote. That being said, I think it's time we start considering our Cabinet members. A few have already been called, but feel free to throw your hats in the ring for any openings.

Here are the ones already taken:

Secretary of State: Caveman
Minister of Brown Coats: Johnny L
Secretary of Booze, Gambling and Prostitutes: the Cap'n

As you can see, we'll be adding a few key positions to modernize the Cabinet a bit. Feel free to apply for existing positions or create your own.

JT out.

All I know is, I would like to be involved if there is some way for me to get on this wagon train of maverickness.
I'm willing to be the Director of Jailbait Affairs. If that spot isn't open, just make me Press Secretary or Secretary of State or something. Secretarying is a woman's job.
Thanks for joining us in the chat on Saturday. we hope to see you again.
I'm willing to be Vice Undersecretary of Depressionomics.
I would like to be a speech writer or press secretary. I recently won a speaking contest with a speech about poop. I have good credentials.
My first act as Minster of Brown Coats would be to arrange the bombing of St. Louis (I would first leave the city for awhile). This would force someone to rebuild the roads which would increase the life expectancy of my car’s suspension. Also, I suggest a new federal holiday honoring Danny Ford.
Are prostitues, gambling, and booze too many things for one person to handle. Perhaps you should break that into three different positions. Haha! Prostitutes and three positions.
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