Thursday, November 06, 2008

 

Dear American Media,

Now that the election is over, can I please, please, please have my regular programming back? Can we talk about something else? Don't get me wrong, I realize that this election was very important, as are all elections. I would hate to see where we would be without the Democratic process. I'm just really fucking sick of hearing about nothing but Obama vs. Hilary, pitbulls wearing lipstick, and other kind of creepy, kind of arousing situations.

And NPR? You know I still love you, right? It's just that for the better part of the last four months, I've heard the exact same opinion pieces and interviews over and over and over and over, just in different accents. Between that and the fact that I listened to a fundraising pitch for a solid ten minutes one morning last month, I actually switched to John Boy and Billy. I heard more fart jokes, NASCAR jokes, and boob jokes in twenty minutes than some men hear in a lifetime, but it beat the hell out of finding out that if I donate more than $120, I get a keychain, bumpersticker, and am doomed to eternity on your mailing and calling list for future fundraisers. On the plus side, I can be a pretentious asshole who constantly reminds you that I am a step above the rest of humanity because I listen to NPR instead of the crapfest that is pop music right now. Does anyone remember real music? Also, you damn kids get off of my lawn! I'm keeping this ball if it lands on my porch one more time!

That's all I have for now...

JT out.

Comments:
I know. As much as I love history ... it HAS been two straight years of being inundated by both sides.

So glad to be able to laugh at dick and fart jokes again on tv, without attack ads bringing me down.
 
Because of the election, Dancing with the Stars was apparently pushed back a day, taking over the slot of my regularly schedule program. Bitches. I had been looking forward to Pushing Daisies since last Wednesday at 8:01 when the previous episode ended. At least Bones was still on.
 
HA, I'm so pretentious that I didn't even realize that regularly scheduled programming had been interrupted because I don't watch regular programming! And I listen to NPR! I also only ever drink wine that they recommend on the wine tasting segment on the local NPR station. (OK, not really.)
 
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