So, as everyone is probably aware, today is St. Patrick's Day. I'm sure everyone expects me to be decked out in green, already drunk. Sorry to disappoint, kids. I'm home in bed, still recovering from a nasty bug that hit me late Sunday night and hasn't lifted. Also, I'm sober.

Before I forget, here's the most important news of the day: Today is mine and Melissa's two-year anniversary. How exactly she has put up with me this long is anyone's guess, and the oddsmakers out in Vegas are surely losing tens, if not twenties, of dollars on the over/under.

And, speaking of gambling, my good buddy the Cap'n just called me. He won $520 last night on an illegal video poker machine in a location that will remain secret for obvious reasons. He wanted to take me out drinking tonight, but I wisely declined because of anniversary plans. Angry girlfriend trumps free bartab any day of the week, unless I had already been drinking.

That's it for today. Heading back to bed to watch Hell Comes to Frogtown and have delirious dreams.

JT out.