Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Screwing With People

I'm going to try something new here, somewhat akin to "The Idiot Speaks" posts I used to do when I served my time working at the Village Idiot in 5 Points. I'm going to start blatantly screwing with salespeople and writing about it. I know this may seem cruel, since I was a salesman for almost 8 years, but there is a difference. I will only be screwing with 2 types of salespeople: door-to-door types, and telemarketers. I fell like they are fair game since they call on people in their homes during non-business hours, often after being repeatedly told that said individuals are not interested. They promise that they "just need to set meetings for a quota," and then attempt high-pressure guilt sales before being forcibly ejected from homes.

To start with, my good friend Jenny just sent me an email, apologizing because she gave my name and number to a Cutco rep who will be calling me in the next few days to set up an appointment for me to see and potentially purchase her knives. I will try to dissuade her, explaining that I have neither the inclination or money for such purchases. However, if she insists on making a meeting happen, it will be fun.

After her presentation of her knife collection, I will insist I show her my collection, which is also available for purchase. It will consist of everyday household items, sharpened into prison-style shanks. I may even dirty one or two of them up to make them appear used. The prices will all be quoted to her in Italian Lira, and all be outrageous.

Then, I will ask her a series of shady questions, such as "Hypothetically, which knives would serve me best for dismembering a corpse?" and "These aren't traceable by some type of serial number, are they?"

Leave suggestions for other ways to screw with her in the comments section.

JT out.

How easily does DNA wash off of these?
Can I get a compass on the end like Rambo had?
Let me hold the big one ... could you sit still with this apple on your head for a second?

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
ask if blood washes off it easily. if you like shit like this check out this website http://nedwingfield.com/ its so funny...

Not as warped as you'd like, but it was fun to show that a standard hunting knife (like my granddad's K-bar) would do the same thing as a Cutco.
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