Sunday, April 15, 2007

 

I Hate Columbia Drivers

I know I've mentioned this before, but I feel that I must add to it. I saw the strangest driving phenomena I've ever seen today. As some of you may know from watching the news, the East Coast is in for a hell of a storm. In fact, one person has been killed and four others injured as a result of the high winds in South Carolina. Please keep in mind that I am not taking this lightly, and I feel for those who have been adversely affected by this weather system.

However, that does not give people the right to be complete idiots when driving. On my way home this afternoon from the bar where I work, people were hitting their brakes every time the wind gusted. Since the wind was gusting several times per minute, this resulted in traffic slowing to barely more than a crawl. Every time we would start to move, the wind would gust, and forty right feet hit the brake pedal, resulting in me creating new expletives and questioning if South Carolina is more filled with inbreeding than West Virginia or Kentucky, perhaps more than both combined. In truth, I think the news reports were scaring people more than the actual wind, as it wasn't really gusting all that hard. I drive a mid-sze car, and I felt completely safe...other than worrying that I was about to start killing the drivers in front of me, which could have resulted in me being made a prison bitch by someone named Tito. I'm too pretty to go to jail.

Sometimes I wish I worked at the DMV. There would be a lot fewer morons with drivers licenses if I was in charge. I would automatically fail anyone who committed one of the following offenses:

Whew. I feel much better now. Thanks for listening to me rant, folks. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend! If you have any additional traffic offenses that get to you, add them in the comments section.

JT out.


Comments:
the news? sensational? no!
 
In Wisconsin, every time we get the first snowfall in a few months, people here do the exact same thing. It causes far more accidents that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the weather they're trying to avoid.

Ironic, really. Or remarkably stupid.
 
Blocking an intersection because you failed to notice that traffic ahead was stopped and there was no way you would get through before the other light turned green.

This was my personal favorite. It's right up there with the people who don't happen to notice the last 5 lane merging ahead signs and must think it's pretty neat to have their own lane while all those other suckers are bumper to bumper until... WHOAH they run out of room and cut somebody off.
When I see this happening I beg and plead with the drivers in front of me. "c'mon guys, keep it close, don't give that d-bag an opening... AAH @#$#@! You let him in you weak fool*!!

*(this is the part where my colorful metaphors really begin to take on a life of their own)

I'm so glad I don't have a big commute. I'd be a statistic for certain.
 
Nice one, Blu. That's another one of mine that I left off.
 
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